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Life Without Pink

A mom's guide to raising boys

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Moms Of Boys Speak Out – Are They Jealous Of Friends With Daughters?

I often get asked, “Are you going to try for a girl?” or “Do you get jealous of other moms with daughters?”

Here’s the thing.

Did I want a daughter? Yes, of course.

Do I feel like my life is missing something without one? Absolutely not.

When my husband and I got married, we decided two kids would be the perfect amount for our family.

I always imagined that I would have a son and daughter.

Six years later, I’m a mom of all boys.

I used to get that feeling like I was punched in the stomach when I thought about the fact that I’d never have a daughter.

I was never jealous of my friends, I just felt sad and sorry for myself.

I have a very close relationship with my mom. We talk every day and only live 10 minutes from each other.

My mother is my best friend and I wish I had a daughter for that very reason.

But there is a special bond between a mother and her son.

My only hope is that I continue to have a strong relationship with my boys and that we will always remain close.

I truly believe I was meant to be a “boy-mom”.

Now, after having two boys, I never think about having a daughter.

I love my life and focus on how lucky I am to have two sweet, healthy and loveable boys.

My husband said to me a long time ago that as the boys grow up, I could either choose to sit back and watch or I could be part of their adventures.

At that moment, I decided I would be right there beside them no matter what.

I might not always enjoy it, like fishing or watching football, but I won’t let these memories pass me by.

I want them to know that I’ll be there every step of the way to hold their hand when they need one, guide them when they need help, to show them how to be silly and enjoy life and lend my shoulder when they need someone to lean on.

So, am I jealous of my friends with daughters? Definitely not.

I think there is something very special about being a mom of all boys, and I would never change my life.

 

I asked other fellow “boy-Moms” what their thoughts were. Do they get jealous of friends that have daughters? Do they feel like they are missing out?

Hilliary from my scraps:  I don’t get jealous. . .but sometimes (like when a new Lands End catalog comes) I wish I had a girl to buy girlie clothes for. I love my boys and wouldn’t trade being a boy-mom for anything. But they do make incredibly adorable things for little girls!

Sharon from Sharon Blog: I have two boys ages 9 and 10 and have to honestly say I am jealous some of the time. I do think that boys are easier but I would love to dress up a girl.

Jessica from Found the Marbles: I don’t get jealous now (because I was so meant to be a boy mom). Yet I worry a lot whether my boys will still want to spend time with me when they are adults. Does that make sense? My only other friend from college that has two boys is very envious of her friends with girls. She wanted a girl more than anything.

Andrea from Lil-Kid-Things: We were convinced that our first was a girl. When I found out he was a boy I cried because I felt like I lost my girl even though I never had her. With our second, I was convinced it was a girl because the pregnancy was SO different and I was SO relieved when we found out Calvin was a boy. We are done having kids, but I am terrified of a surprise pregnancy and the possibility of it being a girl. I can honestly say that I have NO desire to raise a girl of my own at this point.

Jessica from The B Keeps Us Honest {ages 4 & 1 and due in Oct}: I am pregnant with baby boy #3. While I don’t think I’m jealous of people that have girls and I am a little sad that I don’t have a daughter. We’ve talked about being “done” but honestly after I found out baby 3 was a boy I secretly wanted to have another in hopes it could be a girl. I don’t think it’s fair to keeping having kids in hopes that it will be a certain sex but still part of me wonders. I think what saddens me most is that I won’t have a mother/daughter relationship like my mom and I have. But with all that said, I always wanted to be the mom of boys and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Stephanie from  The Daily Blarg: I have 2 boys that are 16 and 14. I admit it, I’m envious of those with little girls. I always felt like I was meant to have a daughter and when my husband pulled the plug on more kids the feeling didn’t disappear.   I have found spending time with and spoiling my little nieces helps fill the void. I love buying them clothes and dolls and playing dress up with them.  But, the reality is I have all boys. I try to focus on the joy they bring versus the unknown joy I could possibly have with a little girl.

Mychal from My Life In Mommyland:  I TOTALLY feel that way. I refuse to actually come out and say I’m done because I feel like my life isn’t going to be complete without a little girl. I feel like I’m missing out on part of life being a mom of just boys. I look at the relationship I have with my mom and I want that too someday and daughter in law isn’t the same as daughter. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my boys in for anything but I feel like something may be missing.

Debbie from Mamanista: I have two boys, but I hope to have a third child eventually. I’d be delighted it I had a girl. I’ve dreamed of doing girly things with a daughter for a long time. I’m not embarrassed to admit that, but I also know that I would love another boy every bit as much as a girl. While I’m sometimes jealous of friends with girls when I hear about their spa days and shopping trips, I love being a mom to boys. It also helps to know that some of my friends with girls have admitted that they hope to have a boy eventually.

Nichole from Nicole Ann:  I am thrilled to have my son and love him to bits, but I will always be a little envious of mothers with daughters. While TTC, I secretly hoped for twins, not for the cuteness factor, but because I knew we likely wouldn’t try for a second child. One baby exhausted me so I can only imagine what boy/girl twins would have been like! But had the fantasy come true, it would have fulfilled my desire for both a daughter and a second child.

Diane from Knitting Zeal: Honestly, I was sad when I found out during pregnancy that my one and only was a boy. All I could think about was no American girl dolls in my future and no Lilly Pulitzer pink and green bedroom! So silly! Now I can’t believe I had those thoughts as my little guy is wonderful. I do have to admit that at Easter time, all those little girls Spring dresses gets me still. And the tutus. If I had a girl, there would be lots of tutus in my house! Instead, we have tons of trains and cars. It’s a lot of fun!

Trina from O’Boy Organic: I always wanted a 3rd child but after having 2 boys I honestly don’t care if the 3rd was a girl. I am so jealous of all the cute clothes and I am sad that I will never have that mother daughter relationship as I do with my own mother. I hope my daughter in laws are amazing!

You shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed for wishing you had a daughter. It doesn’t mean you love your son{s} any less, it just means you are human.

I’d love to hear from you!

Tips For Building Successful Relationships With Brands and Scoring Paying Opportunities

I’m really excited to be joining forces with a few bloggers and talking about lifting the veil on making money in blogging.

No one really talks about this, yet we all have questions.

How much should I charge for a sponsored post?

What’s the best approach when pitching a brand?

How do I create a lasting relationship with brands?

We are going to be sharing our experiences, advice, and hopefully break down a few walls.

My Background

I was a Marketing Manager for an International Chemical Company and was laid off after having my second son.

I was shocked, caught off guard but it truly was a blessing in disguise.

I knew eventually I would have to go back to work, so I took the time home to figure out what I wanted to do.

That’s when I turned to blogging. Originally it was a creative outlet and a way to connect with other women/mothers online.

However, it eventually turned into something bigger, something I never imagined was even possible.

Four years in, I’m still learning – as you know social media is always evolving.

But I can proudly say that I now make a living working from home.

Here’s the secret – I don’t monetize my blog.

This is my little haven and a place for me to share my stories.

I use my blog as a platform to work with brands and clients.

One of the most common questions I get is, “How do you work with brands?”

Before I answer this, let’s start from the beginning.

Who Are You?

Before you consider working with brands you need to figure out who you are? What is our story? Your elevator pitch?

This may evolve over time, but you need to know this before approaching brands.

Don’t compare yourself to others, stay true to yourself.

Brands will believe in you if you believe in you.

Know Your Strengths

What do you love to do? What are you good at?

I love connecting with people and building relationships, hence why I started Girls’ Lunch Out {GLO}.

I’m good at coming up with creative ideas and love putting together fun campaigns.

Maybe you are passionate about photography or food? Or love doing crafts and DIY projects?

What is your passion? Figure that out and follow that path.

The best way to succeed is doing what you love.

Maintain Your Image

This goes for both online and off. Brands are watching, so be careful what you say.

Remember you are THE BRAND and if you plan on making money you need to look at yourself as a business owner.

Always stay professional. You never know when you’ll need to work with someone again or who that person is connected to.

Tips To Build Successful Relationships and Scoring Paying Opportunities

Once you know all of of the above, then you can start building relationships with brands.

Think Outside The Box

We all get a ton of pitches. Most of them are to do a reviews or giveaways.

Here’s your chance to shine.

Remember PR reps and brands are looking for out-of-the-box ideas, so give them yours!

This could be for a paid campaign or for a high ticket item you have your eyes on.

Put together a few fun ideas and pitch them!

Case Study #1: One of my favorite examples is Roo from Nice Girl Notes and her campaign with Maclaren.

She pitched the company to do a video review and wow did she deliver!

This is fancy stuff, I’m warning you. It’s more like a commercial than a vlog.

But Roo definitely made a statement. This was a perfect way for her to show brands what she’s capable of doing and to add this service to her media kit.

I won’t be surprised if other companies come knocking on her door.

 

Case Study #2: Over the summer, I pitched a local company to do a video review of their World Of Games Inflatable for a camp-out I was hosting.

Mine is not as fancy as Roo’s but it does the job and allowed me to build a great relationship with the company.

Now they show this video to potential customers.

Ask For What You Want

Whether you are looking for a writing position or interested in working as a brand ambassador, companies don’t know until you put it out there.

Case Study #1: About a year ago, I met Joanne Lang from AboutOne and really adored her.

I loved the mission behind her company, so what did I do?

I wrote her an email saying how much I would love to join her team if she had an opportunity available. I gave her reasons why I wanted to work for her and how I could help.

A few weeks later, I was added to the team as a Brand Ambassador. My first paying gig!

I worked with AboutOne for a year moving from Brand Ambassador to Social Media Manager to Partner Manager.

This would have never been possible if I didn’t take a leap of faith and ask for the job.

Case Study #2: I love this story. Stephanie from A Grande Life reached out to Picaboo about a writing position and started writing for them in October.  She is a super talented photographer and quickly became their go-to for all things photography related.

{Photo Credit}

Before the New Year, Picaboo’s Social Media Manager, Becca, approached Stephanie about doing the 365 Project and she ran with it!

This project has taken off, to say the least! They have a great community on their Facebook page where every one posts their challenge photos and Stephanie helps answer questions and gives feedback.

Stephanie followed what she loves to do….photography and now she has an awesome gig because of it!

What About Conference Sponsorships?

There are so many wonderful social media conferences, the only problem is the cost.

It can be quite expensive attending conferences especially if travel is involved.

So what about finding a sponsor?

I would suggest reaching out to a company/brand that you already have an established relationship with.

Chances are, you have an immediate contact and rapport with them that will help you ask for the sponsorship.

Start by brainstorming and making a list of some of your favorite brands you’ve worked with in the past.

There are many ways you can promote a brand before and during the conference.

Some ideas to add to your pitch:

  1. Dedicated posts
  2. Sidebar ads on your blog
  3. Branded video{s}
  4. Host a twitter party
  5. Include your sponsor’s twitter handle in your tweets
  6. Business cards that incorporate your sponsor’s logo
  7. Apparel

Corine from Complicated Mama & Tina from Life Without Pink

Case Study #1: In October, Corine and I attended Blogalicious in DC. We put together a creative campaign for a brand I had a relationship with, Therapon Skin Health.

We were running an ice-breaker session to kick off the conference weekend and with permission {key} from the conference organizers, we were able to incorporate Therapon into our session.

We played a fun, networking game with everyone and they won prizes from Therapon.

Therapon loved the idea and signed on as our official Blogalicious sponsor.

Stay In Touch

One mistake that is often made is not keeping the relationship going with the brand.

Even if you reached out to a brand in the past with an opportunity and they had to decline, don’t lose their contact information.

One piece of advice….keep the lines of communication open.

Send them a friendly email every so often that basically says, “Hey I’m still here, don’t forget about me.”

Checking in with the brand can go a long way.

Case Study #1: In December 2010, I was selected to participate in the Chevy Mom Blogger program where I drove around a new Chevy for a month and shared my experiences through blog posts, photos and videos.

After the program ended, I kept in touch with the Chevy team because I really enjoyed working with them and love the brand.

Three months later, they offered me the Chevy Philadelphia Community Manager position and I truly believed that part of that was due to the fact that I keep myself in front of them.

What Do You Charge?

Awe the question everyone wants to know!

There are so many variables when setting your price. What’s the scope of the job/position? How many hours? What size ad? What’s your network reach?

My best advice here is to align yourself with a few close blogging friends. When opportunities arise bounce ideas off of them and get their feedback.

That’s what I do.

My go-to-girl is my business partner, Erica, however I have a few other people I feel comfortable discussing money with. Every job opportunity I’m presented with is slightly different from the last so it can make the the whole pricing thing a bit confusing.

Here is a great piece of advice from Kelly at The Centsible Life;

“I had the best advice ever when I was starting out. Charge what the market bears. I came up with a rate I was comfortable with, and asked for it. If it got ‘yes’ed too quickly I knew I was under-priced. If I got a big ‘no’ I knew I was priced too high. That has served me well.”

There are as many ways to earn money blogging as to blog so check out the other bloggers participating in Lifting the Veil On Making Money In Blogging:

If you have any questions I’d be happy to help answer! Leave a comment or email me at tina@lifewithoutpink.com.

 

 

If you want to learn more about working with brands, I’m hosting a twitter party TODAY at 1pm EST for Girls’ Lunch Out.

We have four wonderful companies answering your questions and sharing their tips. They include: Hyatt Chicago, Verizon Wireless, Eventbrite and Identity PR.

Twitter Party Details:

To learn more, click here to read the full post with details.

 

2012; The Year of Growth

Hello 2012!

It’s another year, which means another fresh start!

I have spent the last two weeks offline, hanging out with the family and enjoying the holidays.

It’s been a wonderful, much needed break and very rejuvenating.

It gave me a lot of time to think.

What are my goals going into the new year? What direction is my blog headed? What’s my next career move? And how do I become the best me?

At the end of 2011, I felt as though I was stuck…I wasn’t moving forward.

I was more exhausted then ever, wasn’t eating right, stopped exercising and was being pulled into too many directions.

I never felt present.

I made a few changes that have helped me, but I need to continue on this path.

This year instead of making a New Year’s resolution {expect for making a few marriage resolutions}, I am going to focus on one word;

Growth |grōθ|;  the process of developing or maturing physically, mentally, or spiritually

 

I want to apply this to all aspects of my life;

Grow as a mother.

Grow my business and career.

Grow as an individual and become a better me.

I want to try new experiences, take risks, indulge more in life, soak up memories and most importantly be present in the moment.

The one area that I really want to work on is growing as a person.

I truly feel that we need to feed our soul to help maximize our full potential and to feel happier and more fulfilled.

This year, I am challenging myself to grow personally and reconnect with myself.

It might be as simple as buying a new lip gloss, turning off the tv and reading a new book, taking a bubble bath or bigger like working out 3 times a week, organizing rooms in my home and finish photo albums that have been on my to-do list for 5 years.

I want to feel more connected and accomplished…and do things that make me happy.

Most of us live to work {whether it’s inside or outside the home}, and don’t take the time to appreciate our accomplishments and who we are.

Hopefully my journey will help inspire you to leave the everyday madness behind just for a moment to focus on yourself and indulge in life.

I’ll be updating you on ways I’m “growing” and nurturing myself.

I’m going to leave you with this quote I found on Pinterest;

“You decide every

moment of every day

who you are and

what you believe in.

You get a second

chance, every second.”

~Author Unknown

Have you made any resolutions or goals for yourself going into the new year?

*******************************************************************************************************

Our January Project Marriage Challenge is up! This month we are challenging you to make a “marriage resolution{s}”.

Lori, Melissa and I have made a few of our own, stop by to check them out!

Plus link up your post!

Boy Mamas

Last night as I took a break from working, I got distracted and started surfing the web.

I landed on one of my favorite all boy sites, The Mob Society, and saw that they were hosting their FIRST annual Boy Mom Blog Hop, so of course I had to join!

Mothers of Boys

For those of you that are stopping by for the first time – I’m Tina, a mom to two spunky little boys! If you would have told me ten years ago I would be a mom to all boys, I would have never believed you.

But here I am….and I am loving every moment of it!

My blog was inspired by my boys and the endless quest for survival in a testosterone filled world. I write about motherhood, boys, life experiences and marriage.

Over the past five years, I’ve learned a TON about being a mom to boys for example:

1. Super Heroes really do exist! If you ask my five year old what he wants to be when he grows up…he’ll tell you, “Spiderman, so I can climb walls and save people!”

2. Everything will become a weapon even something as simple as a slipper. Always watch out, you never know when something will get flung in your direction!

3. Jumping, screaming, and wrestling is a part of their every day activity. Don’t expect them to sit down for more than two minutes, unless they are plotting a plan of attack.

But the biggest thing I have learned from my boys;

4. No matter how old they are or how big they become….boys will always need and love their mama!

So meet my boys!


Big A, my oldest – 5

He loves to cuddle and still jumps on my lap so I can rock him {which obviously melts my heart}. Big A is more sensitive and is very cautious. He starts Kindergarten in the Fall and is VERY excited to ride a school bus for the first time. Me – I think I’ll drive behind the bus for the first few weeks….it’s the first time I am letting my baby go…sniff, sniff!

Little B, my youngest – 2 1/2

He is my daredevil! He’ll jump off a couch, land face first, get up and walk away like nothing happened. Little B is stubborn and has a mind of his own. And watch out, when you aren’t looking he loves to sneak attack you!

I love meeting other MOB’s!

I want to know…what’s one thing you learned from being a mom of boy{s}?

A Few Must Have Blogging Tools

I still consider myself a newbie blogger even though I have been blogging for over a year. Every day I am learning about new tools and resources to use when blogging, so I thought I would share a few that I recently came across:

1. Gravatar; Have you ever noticed when someone leaves a comment their photo or logo appears right next to their name? Ever wonder how they did this?

WordPress uses a third party company to make those cute little images which is based off of your email address. It is very easy to make. Simply visit the website, select your email address and photo/logo to use. Viola! you have a gravatar!

Biggest benefit of using this service; branding yourself and your blog.

2. Picnik;  It is a photo editing tool that allows you to touch up the photos and even add a watermark or text to them. I always wondered how everyone would add their website as a watermark to their photos {great way to protect yourself from others reproducing them} and then I came across this dandy little site.

Again super easy to use and you don’t even need an account. Just upload your photo, start editing and you are done!

3. Flickr; Suppose you are writing a blog and you want a photo to help attract readers.  Where do you find one? On Flickr you can search their creative commons-licensed photographs for free photos to use on your blog.

Under Advanced Search click “Only search within Creative Commons-licensed content” and “Find Content to use Commercially”.

4. TwitterFeed; If you are using Twitter than you definitely want to check out this site.  TwitterFeed is a free service that automatically posts your blog posts directly to your Twitter account.

I know sometimes it is hard for me to keep up with announcing my new blog posts so this is a great service to use and will give you one less thing to do!

5. Tweetdeck; This is a free software program that allows you to manage your twitter account{s} easily and efficiently.  I was having trouble keeping up with managing my two Twitter accounts {@otherhoodllc & @lifewithoutpink} and someone had suggested using Tweetdeck. Oh my god has it changed my whole twitter experience!

Benefits:

1. You can customized the columns and set up groups to follow. This helps keep you very organized and you’ll never miss a tweet while the program is running.

2. You can minimize Tweetdeck while you do some other work on the computer. I have it set up so new tweets pop up on my screen with a cute little ding noise.  I love it because I can still stay in the loop on what’s going on but at the same time I can get some work done. I have to admit though it can become a distraction and at times when I need to be productive I turn off the notification. But its easy and simple to do!

3. You can manage multiple accounts which I am totally loving! I have both of them up on my screen at all times so I can bounce back and forth between the two. This really has been so helpful managing the two accounts.

So here is just a few easy to use tools when blogging and if you have any to add I would love to hear about them!

Brands LWP Has Worked With

Brands LWP Has Worked With