Everyone has seen “THAT” parent. You know, the former star or wanna-be star athlete who is living out his own aspirations through his child. Or maybe you’re thinking of the mom who has decided that her baby is better than everyone else and surely deserves to go pro. No matter what the form, “THOSE” parents have a few things in common – including being loud, pushy, and abrasive.
When your child enjoys a sport and wants to do better, how can you help them to remain motivated without being overbearing? Here are a few simple tips that will help you to inspire your child to give it their all without screaming, yelling, or looking like a lunatic.
Know Your Role and Play It
First and foremost, your job is to be the parent. Leave the coaching up to the actual coach. Does this mean you shouldn’t help your child in the yard at home? Absolutely not! But when they are on the field, in the dugout, or behind the blocks, that is coach’s territory. The conflicting information when trying to please both their coaches and their parents will leave kids frustrated and contribute to losing their motivation.
Teach Them About Personal Goals
Helping kids find small, achievable goals that they can work toward can help them to maintain their motivation. A 10-year-old playing for the goal of getting a college scholarship is going to be overwhelmed and struggle to find the direction he needs with a payoff so far in the future. While that might be the overall hope, encourage your child to find small, self-improvement items that can be achieved in a season or two – drop 2 seconds off a swim stroke, strike out 6 batters in a game, improve their throwing accuracy by 5 percent, and so on. Once they complete that goal, set a new one!
Let Them Control Their Level of Participation
Nothing drains a child’s motivation faster than feeling as if they are being forced to do something. While there are certainly participation requirements that must be followed if they are to be a part of the team, pushing them too hard to participate in extra practice and training can result in them pushing back. Remember, they are children with other interests and they need a little freedom. Offer opportunities, but don’t force the issue. It may just be that they need a little break to get their focus and determination back on track.
Keep Things in Perspective
Even the most motivated athletes sometimes get discouraged. Be there to build your child up and remind them that sports aren’t the only thing in the world. Share the perspective that the same-age kid who beat them in today’s race hit an early growth spurt and stands a foot taller, with muscles to match and remind him that he’ll catch up. Also, be sure to manage your own expectations and remember that you’re watching youth sports, not a team of professional athletes. Give them the appreciation and encouragement that they deserve.
Celebrate Victories within Failures
When you focus too much on winning, your athlete’s self-esteem can take a serious hit when they go through a less-than-stellar season. Instead of talking about the overall result, point out the personal victories that your child reached and praise them for those. Pointing out a great assist, a phenomenal catch, or a solid line drive can salvage what was otherwise a demotivating experience.
With youth sports, it can be such a challenge to keep kids motivated, especially when so many parents have taken an aggressive stance in pushing their children to be the best. However, with the right perspective, any parent can motivate their child to improve and have fun, without being overbearing.
Also check out, how to teach your kids about sportsmanship.
Your post just gave me fresh insights which I really needed. Thank you for reminding me not to be “THAT” parent. For now, we will focus on personal goals.
I’ve read most of these and received recommendations for the others from my favorite local librarian.
Galam Duke´s last blog post ..35 Fit, Fun and Mostly Free Activities for Kids
when I ask athletes this, this is what they usually say, “Well, I want to get into college.” That’s nice. Why do you want to get into college?
And a lot of times they never thought past that. What you can do is help them to think more about the details if what it means to go to college.
Sharon Smith´s last blog post ..35 Fit, Fun and Mostly Free Activities for Kids