I sat down slowly on the bed looking around.
Her shoes were sitting on the floor next to her bed and her sweater was draped neatly over the chair.
Her little black purse laid on the dresser with her wallet sticking out.
Everything was still how she left it, untouched.
This is the first time in my almost 35 years that I have faced death so close.
I know I’m lucky and my Grandmom lived a beautiful 90 years, but it still hurts.
It’s like the person is just removed from their life….poof gone.
Their stuff still remains behind and everything around you still reminds you of them.
A simple object can trigger a lifetime of memories.
I wish I would have known that she only had a short time left.
The last time I spoke to her, she was happy, sitting up in her hospital bed, and making everyone laugh.
I thought I would have another chance to tell her that I loved her.
By the time I came back, she couldn’t respond.
We sat by her bedside for three days, holding her hand and talking to her.
She was surrounded by her family and we never left her.
On the last day, I leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Please take care of your boys. They love you and you need to be their guardian angel and watch over them.”
I kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand.
I’m not sure if she heard me, but I’m praying she did.
Life isn’t the same now.
I know it will get a bit easier but for now it still hurts.