Moms Of Boys Speak Out – Are They Jealous Of Friends With Daughters?

I often get asked, “Are you going to try for a girl?” or “Do you get jealous of other moms with daughters?”

Here’s the thing.

Did I want a daughter? Yes, of course.

Do I feel like my life is missing something without one? Absolutely not.

When my husband and I got married, we decided two kids would be the perfect amount for our family.

I always imagined that I would have a son and daughter.

Six years later, I’m a mom of all boys.

I used to get that feeling like I was punched in the stomach when I thought about the fact that I’d never have a daughter.

I was never jealous of my friends, I just felt sad and sorry for myself.

I have a very close relationship with my mom. We talk every day and only live 10 minutes from each other.

My mother is my best friend and I wish I had a daughter for that very reason.

But there is a special bond between a mother and her son.

My only hope is that I continue to have a strong relationship with my boys and that we will always remain close.

I truly believe I was meant to be a “boy-mom”.

Now, after having two boys, I never think about having a daughter.

I love my life and focus on how lucky I am to have two sweet, healthy and loveable boys.

My husband said to me a long time ago that as the boys grow up, I could either choose to sit back and watch or I could be part of their adventures.

At that moment, I decided I would be right there beside them no matter what.

I might not always enjoy it, like fishing or watching football, but I won’t let these memories pass me by.

I want them to know that I’ll be there every step of the way to hold their hand when they need one, guide them when they need help, to show them how to be silly and enjoy life and lend my shoulder when they need someone to lean on.

So, am I jealous of my friends with daughters? Definitely not.

I think there is something very special about being a mom of all boys, and I would never change my life.

I asked other fellow “boy-Moms” what their thoughts were. Do they get jealous of friends that have daughters? Do they feel like they are missing out?

Hilliary from my scraps:  I don’t get jealous. . .but sometimes (like when a new Lands End catalog comes) I wish I had a girl to buy girlie clothes for. I love my boys and wouldn’t trade being a boy-mom for anything. But they do make incredibly adorable things for little girls!

Sharon from Sharon Blog: I have two boys ages 9 and 10 and have to honestly say I am jealous some of the time. I do think that boys are easier but I would love to dress up a girl.

Jessica from Found the Marbles: I don’t get jealous now (because I was so meant to be a boy mom). Yet I worry a lot whether my boys will still want to spend time with me when they are adults. Does that make sense? My only other friend from college that has two boys is very envious of her friends with girls. She wanted a girl more than anything.

Andrea from Lil-Kid-Things: We were convinced that our first was a girl. When I found out he was a boy I cried because I felt like I lost my girl even though I never had her. With our second, I was convinced it was a girl because the pregnancy was SO different and I was SO relieved when we found out Calvin was a boy. We are done having kids, but I am terrified of a surprise pregnancy and the possibility of it being a girl. I can honestly say that I have NO desire to raise a girl of my own at this point.

Jessica from The B Keeps Us Honest {ages 4 & 1 and due in Oct}: I am pregnant with baby boy #3. While I don’t think I’m jealous of people that have girls and I am a little sad that I don’t have a daughter. We’ve talked about being “done” but honestly after I found out baby 3 was a boy I secretly wanted to have another in hopes it could be a girl. I don’t think it’s fair to keeping having kids in hopes that it will be a certain sex but still part of me wonders. I think what saddens me most is that I won’t have a mother/daughter relationship like my mom and I have. But with all that said, I always wanted to be the mom of boys and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Stephanie from  The Daily Blarg: I have 2 boys that are 16 and 14. I admit it, I’m envious of those with little girls. I always felt like I was meant to have a daughter and when my husband pulled the plug on more kids the feeling didn’t disappear.   I have found spending time with and spoiling my little nieces helps fill the void. I love buying them clothes and dolls and playing dress up with them.  But, the reality is I have all boys. I try to focus on the joy they bring versus the unknown joy I could possibly have with a little girl.

Mychal from My Life In Mommyland:  I TOTALLY feel that way. I refuse to actually come out and say I’m done because I feel like my life isn’t going to be complete without a little girl. I feel like I’m missing out on part of life being a mom of just boys. I look at the relationship I have with my mom and I want that too someday and daughter in law isn’t the same as daughter. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my boys in for anything but I feel like something may be missing.

Debbie from Mamanista: I have two boys, but I hope to have a third child eventually. I’d be delighted it I had a girl. I’ve dreamed of doing girly things with a daughter for a long time. I’m not embarrassed to admit that, but I also know that I would love another boy every bit as much as a girl. While I’m sometimes jealous of friends with girls when I hear about their spa days and shopping trips, I love being a mom to boys. It also helps to know that some of my friends with girls have admitted that they hope to have a boy eventually.

Nichole from Nicole Ann:  I am thrilled to have my son and love him to bits, but I will always be a little envious of mothers with daughters. While TTC, I secretly hoped for twins, not for the cuteness factor, but because I knew we likely wouldn’t try for a second child. One baby exhausted me so I can only imagine what boy/girl twins would have been like! But had the fantasy come true, it would have fulfilled my desire for both a daughter and a second child.

Diane from Knitting Zeal: Honestly, I was sad when I found out during pregnancy that my one and only was a boy. All I could think about was no American girl dolls in my future and no Lilly Pulitzer pink and green bedroom! So silly! Now I can’t believe I had those thoughts as my little guy is wonderful. I do have to admit that at Easter time, all those little girls Spring dresses gets me still. And the tutus. If I had a girl, there would be lots of tutus in my house! Instead, we have tons of trains and cars. It’s a lot of fun!

Trina from O’Boy Organic: I always wanted a 3rd child but after having 2 boys I honestly don’t care if the 3rd was a girl. I am so jealous of all the cute clothes and I am sad that I will never have that mother daughter relationship as I do with my own mother. I hope my daughter in laws are amazing!

You shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed for wishing you had a daughter. It doesn’t mean you love your son{s} any less, it just means you are human.

I’d love to hear from you!

Meet Life Without Pink

I'm Tina, a wife and mother of two very active little boys. I'm the Co-founder of Girls' Lunch Out {GLO}, a marketing company that hosts networking events for women in social media. I'm also part of the BabyCenter social media team and the Family Expert for P&G's Have You Tried This Yet? Trend Trio.

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Tagged as: boy mom, mom and son, mom of all boys, mother and son relationship, motherhood, Parenting