My husband was away and after a busy day I decided it would be fun to have “breakfast” for dinner.
After getting everything ready, I handed the boys their plates.
My almost three-year started screaming, “This isn’t the plate I want and the syrup doesn’t go there!”
He had a complete melt-down for the third time that day.
I lost it. I sat on the floor and started bawling my eyes out. Yes I admit, I started crying.
It wasn’t the fact that my son was screaming at the top of his lungs over a dumb plate {even though that didn’t help}, it was everything crashing together at that very moment.
Like most moms, I try to do it all. I work full-time from home with no childcare, I run the kids back and forth for activities, take care of the home, shopping, meals, bath time and work until mid-night almost every night.
The last few weeks I’ve become more and more stressed and I realized I needed to re-evaluate everything. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I was starting to get completely worn out.
My five-year sat down next to me on the floor, wrapped his arms around me and said, “Mom I love you. It’s going to be ok.”
At that moment, everything became clear for me.
I knew what I had to do.
I love working and I am quite proud of the business I have built, but I love being a mom more.
That night I decided I had to close one of my doors. It was a tough decision but it wasn’t a good fit for where I am in my life right now and it created more stress than I needed.
I don’t like letting people down, but more importantly I don’t like letting my children down.
It was a hard decision, but the right decision for me and my family.
Sometimes we have to make these difficult decisions in order to move forward.
Right now I need to focus on my boys, the business I am building and the exciting projects that are in the works.
As I sat there on the floor with my son, I held him and told him, “I know it’s going to be alright because I have you by my side.”
He looked up at me with his big blue eyes and his sweet little smile. He leaned over and gave me a kiss and wrapped his arms around me.
At that moment I felt at peace and knew what I was doing was the right thing.
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Good for you for making the decision not to live in a state of chaos. I now how hard it must have been but you can’t be everything to everyone all the time, plain and simple. Frankly, I can’t believe you were able to manage as long as you did with no help! Best wishes, xo
Glamamom´s last [type] ..YOOOOOOOOO GABBA GABBA LIVE
I know it was a bit crazy…when it started to get unbalanced had to let the one thing go that was pushing me over.
I find myself over-volunteering every school year…to the point of massive burn out by December. It’s very hard for us SAHM’s to just say “No”…everyone seems to think that since I don’t work outside the house that I have hours to kill each day. LOL not so true…most days I’m struggling to keep up with the kids, the house and all the extra-schtuff…let alone have any “me” time. It’s been awhile since I’ve sat on the front porch bawling but I know its hanging out there waiting in the shadows for the cracks to develop
Good for you in letting go and realizing you can’t do it all, all the time!
Jennifer G´s last [type] ..C25K—welcome to Gridley!
Loved this post the FIRST time I read it. Loved it even more this time. Thank you for linking up with #ShowYourWork!
Ryan (The Woven Moments)´s last [type] ..SHOW YOUR WORK!
Good for you for choosing your sanity! It can be a hard decision to make, but it sounds like you made the right one. Here’s hoping you find peace and contentment now that the “hard part” is over! (Visiting from The Woven Moments)
Abby´s last [type] ..Friday Grab Bag
This can’t have been an easy decision to make. I think that women keep getting this message that we can do it all: be amazing moms, and perfect housekeepers, and career-driven, and health-conscious…but eventually, something has to give. It’s strong of you to make that decision now, on your own terms!
Stephanie´s last [type] ..I’m Sorry, Justin Timberlake
I know that wasn’t an easy decision to make, but it definitely sounds like the right one for now.
Krystyn´s last [type] ..Mommy and Me Monday | Happy Halloween (the 89th ed)
I read this and felt like I could be reading about myself. It’s so hard to juggle, and I find that there are times that working from home is harder for me than when I worked in an office. At least when I left home to go to work, there was separation, and I wasn’t seeing piles of laundry or dishes that needed to get done while I was working on a project. But, like you, I am the chief kid caretaker. So it’s something I just try to deal with. It’s great that you were able to let something go. It feels soooo good to let something go.
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