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A few weeks ago, I was out doing errands with my mom and boys. As we were passing by a street filled with homes my mom said to me, “You know, behind every door is a story.”
Photo Credit; www.sterling-construction.org
I live in the same town that I grew up in and the other day I drove by an old friend’s home. His Dad was outside doing yard work and that’s when that statement hit me hard.
Three years ago, he lost his wife. I remember because it was the same day my son turned two.
Seeing him outside trying to carry on with life, made me realize you just never know what people are going through or the hardships they are dealing with.
So many times in life we judge people for the things they do, money they make or the way they look.
I’ve always been a pretty compassionate person and have always tried to get to know people for who they really are inside.
I was the girl in high school that had friends from all different walks of life and I really feel this has helped me become the person I am today.
Now as a parent, I realize how important it is to teach my boys to never judge or make fun of someone. I want them to be compassionate, caring men with a good heart…..because you never know the story behind the door.
{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
This is just SO true. You never know what is truly going on in someone’s life unless you are in their shoes. Things may look picture perfect on the outside, while inside they are struggling. I definitely want to teach my son not to judge people too!
The Mommyologist´s last [type] ..My Super Sexy Bedroom Life
You are so right! And lots of people put up fronts, at times I wish they would just let you “in” to help
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Behind Every Door Is A Story
You are so right. Our society seems to be extremely judgey these days. No one is thin enough, pretty enough, rich enough, smart enough, good enough wife or mother and the list goes on.
Your boys have a great future ahead, as they have a mom with her head squarely on her shoulders!
Alison@Mama Wants This´s last [type] ..How @Twitter has RuinedMyLife
Thank you so much! I want my boys to be happy with who they are and proud
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Behind Every Door Is A Story
You are so right. This is also how I am trying to raise my kids.
Stephanie´s last [type] ..I just don’t get…
You’re right. Many people are quick to judge and many people are quick to put up a wall to hide what’s really going on.
Evonne´s last [type] ..I will survive
Exactly…instead of letting you in to help or be there for them.
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Behind Every Door Is A Story
So true. I think that we, as parents, have an obligation to our children to teach them compassion and empathy. Judgement can begin at a very early age. The sooner we direct children away from that kind of behavior, the better off they will be. Great post!
Sheila @ Pieces of a Mom´s last [type] ..The Royal Wedding
You are right! Imagine if we all did that…this world would be full of compassionate people!
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Behind Every Door Is A Story
I learned that lesson many times in my life. Looks can be deceiving which I have seen time and time again..
Angel´s last [type] ..Strut my stuff with naughty mommy
I agree…never judge a book by its cover!
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Behind Every Door Is A Story
Such an important lesson! Sometimes it is so hard to remember that EVERYONE is dealing with something, but it is true, and we just never know.
BethP´s last [type] ..Photo Tales Feature- Tinas Place!
I know we all get caught up in our own lives…I try to step back and remember this.
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Behind Every Door Is A Story
A very insightful thought indeed! Lovely post, and so true! I’ve raised mine the same and it’s just a beautiful thing. We need more parents to do the same.
sheila´s last [type] ..Reflections of May
This is so true! I hope that I am teaching my daughter the same way! Thanks for the much needed reminder.
A Mommy in the City´s last [type] ..The End of a Terrorist- Osama Bin Laden is Dead
I am sure you are!
That is so true! I tried to teach my kids not to judge people by their vehicles also.
blueviolet @ A Nut in a Nutshell´s last [type] ..When the Rubber Hits the Road
You are right! Because some of them have a sentimental value
What a very true statement Tina. I was raised that way, and try to be very cognizant of keeping that belief alive every day. There needs to be more people in the world that think like that, that not only say that when they feel someone is being critical of them, but all the time. I find a lot of people I know are quick, to say “well that person should walk a mile in my shoes”, but maybe it’s the other person’s shoes that they should be walking in. Kindness, acceptance, and understanding compassion are often rarities it seems.
Jenn @ Gaffney’s Gabs´s last [type] ..Aloha Friday – Weddings!
Jenn couldn’t agree with you more! I know you are a very caring person!
So, so, so true! I remember growing up hearing that you need to a walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before you judge them. Someone else is always fighting a harder battle than we are. And it’s so important to teach our children that things aren’t always the way that they seem on the outside.
Courtney @ The Mommy Matters´s last [type] ..“No Mom Talk” Facelift
When I am having a really bad day I try to stop myself and think, “Is it really that bad?” It puts it back into perspective for me.
Such a great post!! This is so true. I hope I can raise my son to be thoughtful and selfless. It’s so easy to misjudge people, and criticize, never bothering to find out their story. But when you take the time, usually you’ll find that they are amazing human beings. Thanks for this!
Mandy@asortafairytale´s last [type] ..PNW photowalk Anyone
YES!!! I have met incredible people just by opening up and getting to know them better. I couldn’t agree with you more!
I hate to repeat what everyone else has said but IT IS SO TRUE. You never really know what is going on behind closed doors nor do you know people’s stories…and almost everyone has one. However, I do think it is easier said than done to raise our kids without this way of thinking. We can certainly do our best (as I am attempting) but it is no easy challenge in this world we live in
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It’s not you are right. As long as we give them the guidance, we hope they will grow up to be compassionate. Parenting is the hardest job ever!
Very well said! I strive to teach my boys the same thing…I strive to teach some of the adults around me too:) I just found your blog and have been looking around. I too am a mom to two boys (3.5 and almost one). Oh the energy. Anyway, I’ll be back!
Kim´s last [type] ..The graduate and his pizza recipe
Oh love meeting moms of boys
Thanks for stopping by and I’ll be over to say Hi!
It’s a very good reminder to all of us. We don’t know what really is going on in anyone’s life – for better or worse.
You are so right! Never judge period.
You are absolutely right, and I think you are teaching your boys such an invaluable lesson, Tina. You never know someone’s story unless you make the effort to get to know them a bit better. You are such a wonderful role model to them
Charlotte´s last [type] ..Featured Blogger Week over at Blogger Body Calendar
Thank you very much. I try, I have to admit its a hard job though!
Very true. Every person has their own story and if you judge them based on what you see on the outside you will never learn about who they really are.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Another Recap
Yes, I love learning about everyone. Each person teaches me something new!
Judging is human nature. But when it occurs I try to stop and think about what is happening in someone’s life. This is especially good if you’re a teacher. You often wonder about the children that are in my charge for a year. So much goes on behind the scenes.
Yes I am sure! You are right, everyone judges BUT seeing past that is what really matters.
oh Tina, this was gorgeous…giving your boys a “moral compass” . I love how you are raising those gorgeous boys and giving us such a great model to follow. Inspriring ….thank you.
Kir´s last [type] ..Perfect Moment Monday- Being Me
Thank you so much, very sweet!
I love that thought!
Thanks!!!
Tried to comment before, trying again since I added my name here…
Have you read The Little Buddha’s post today about being kind? Totally in keeping with what you wrote (so beautifully) here. It’s easier to be kind to some than it is to others, no?
Ryan Slevin´s last [type] ..New Baby Manifesto
No but I want to check it out. Yes true….but I do try to be as polite as I can
This is SO true. I’ve heard the story before (don’t know if its true) about the dad who was letting his kids go wild on the subway. People were staring and making comments to one another when someone finally spoke up and told the dad they couldn’t believe he’d let his kids act like that. The dad looked up and told them “We’re on the way back from the hospital where they just lost their mother. I’m having a hard time knowing how to react too.”
Frick- just writing that out makes me cry. Great post, Tina. We shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.
Melissa {adventuroo}´s last [type] ..Swimming Through
OMG Melissa I just got chills! Wow this really puts it into perspective thanks for sharing.
Ok, Melissa’s comment gave me chills too!
I am a firm believer in this too. We get a lot of looks when Aiden has his tantrums in public. It got so bad that we haven’t gone out to dinner together for a few months. Which is hard, we like to reward ourselves with a night out.
People would look at us like we didn’t know how to “control” our child, or would mumble under their breath “that that kid needs some discipline.” They don’t understand that sometimes he just can’t help it, that sometimes the crowds overwhelm him, and that he can only sit still for so long.
You really don’t know everyone’s back story…and sometimes you just need to reach out and ask if they need some help.
Thank you for the reminder.
Tania Stenzel´s last [type] ..Thoughtful Thursday
This is so true! When life gets so busy it is easy to forget that there are huge loads that others deal with seamlessly. Thanks for the reminder to keep this fresh in my mind!
Paula@Simply Sandwich´s last [type] ..Summer Prep 101
One of my favorite quotes is – Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
I try very hard to live by these words. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. I have a little boy too (with another on the way) and I want to him to learn by example and know what true compassion is. Being the example is hard sometimes. Admitting when you could have done something differently is harder. I am finding the older my son gets the more aware I am of my actions.
Great post!
JDaniel sees all people as the same I need to make sure that I don’t teach him anything different.
Oh I agree. Compassion is the greatest thing you can teach your children.
Glamamom´s last [type] ..BAKING SODA BEAUTY TIPS