Every time I see a pregnant women a part of me gets slightly jealous. Just the other day I ran into a friend that was pregnant with her third child and I actually heard my biological clock tick….just a bit.
Why? This is insane, I thought!
Two kids is the perfect amount for us. Honestly, I don’t know if I could handle another child, I can barely keep up with the two I have.
So I decided to create a list of Pros and Cons for having a third child.
PROS
- The attention you get! When I was pregnant I remember everyone being so nice to me; random strangers would come up and talk to me, people would hold the door for me, even give up their seat in a crowded place. And to top it off my hubby wouldn’t let me do housework and often told me, “Sit down and relax”…words I rarely hear now.
- I had two really wonderful pregnancies and never had the normal pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness, cravings, and cramps. Honestly if it wasn’t for my growing belly, I would have never known I was pregnant.
- I think being pregnant is sexy! I loved having a baby bump and never felt better.
- I only gained 25 lbs with each and ate what I wanted! The only time you can really get away with this.
- I had an excuse for being lazy.
- Digging out all of the baby clothes again and remembering when my boys were tiny enough to wear them.
- By the time the third one would come along, both my boys would be in school….so I would have some one on one time with the baby.
- I came from a family of three and would LOVE to have a big family.
- Maybe just maybe I’d get a little girl this time!
CONS
- You go from man on man to playing zone defense. One of us is always outnumbered {and that someone is usually me}.
- I have been changing diapers for five years now and I can finally see the light! No more spending money on diapers and it feels liberating ditching the diaper bag! Do I really want to go back and do it all over again?
- Money; let’s face it as kids get older the expense gets higher. I’m not really looking forward to taking on three jobs to pay their college tuition.
- More toys! We have so many toys in this house…add another kid and it triples!
- I like my sleep. Now that my kids sleep through the night, I can actually can get some shut eye. I’m not saying I sleep like a baby but its better than getting up every three hours to feed the baby.
- I breastfed both of my boys close to a year {quite proud of this accomplishment}, however it was completely draining and exhausting to be the only one that could feed them. My body aches just thinking about this.
- Picking out a baby name. Both of my boys were named two days after they were born! My husband refused to talk baby names before the baby was actually born {both surprises}. It was horrible – for a few days the name on the tag for both boys said, “Baby S”….poor guys were nameless! I can’t go through that again.
- On my road to freedom! My kids are at the age where they can play by themselves and I don’t have to chase after them making sure they don’t fall or put something in their mouth.
- I can ship them off to my parent’s for the night and not feel guilty.
After looking at my list, I realized I like my sleep, sending them over to Mom Mom’s for the night and soon being diaper free!
Do you get baby bump envy?
{ 56 comments… read them below or add one }
I made an identical list when deciding on #2! Then I realized I really wanted 2 and then that’s it. And you can have my baby bump. I am ready for it to be all over!
Steph´s last [type] ..The Odd Couple
When are you due? Oh I forgot to mention, the second time around I was EXHAUSTED from chasing after #1. Two is a great number
My c/s is scheduled for May 17th!!!
Steph´s last [type] ..The Odd Couple
I do get Baby Bump envy but only because mine seems to be so huge and all my other friends have these cute little baby bumps that still fit in cute maternity clothes.
YUMMommy´s last [type] ..Co-Sleeping Blues
Yeah I was lucky in that department too…but my kids were tiny at only 6lbs – still felt huge though!
I’m currently rocking a pretty sweet (nearly) 7 month bump…so no envy here. But I do feel like I will relate one day. I always wanted a lot of children, and would say that if it were financially possible, I would have 4. Now that financially possible probably only means 3, I even question that. I’ve wanted to be a mom my whole life, but boy, this pregnancy has been rough on me. Mentally, more than anything. I absolutely hate not being able to physically do everything I want to do. Move a desk, carry 57 grocery bags at one time, take the trash out. These days after just a few minutes of walking around, my left hip & entire leg are on fire and my body yells: “Sit down, woman!” I feel helpless, even though I really thought I would enjoy being lazy! I can’t imagine feeling this way with a little toddler running around and not being able to devote myself to her physically. So after two, I can definitely see a list of pros & cons in my future.
Oh, and kudos on extended breastfeeding both of your boys!
Brooke´s last [type] ..rubies and love songs
I forgot about that! I remember not having the energy to move my body especially the second time around. Congrats to you…you are almost there
I don’t think I’ll ever feel done having babies. I have two little boys, and we plan on having another baby. Since I’ve had c-sections, our next one will probably be our last. DH thinks 3 is a perfect number for us. I think I’ll always be a tiny bit sad when I’m done having babies…but at least I have great little kids to enjoy every day.
Shelly´s last [type] ..Tomato Sauce
So true! My youngest is two and I am getting sad that his “baby” years are over…he is such a big boy now. I think its natural to feel sad when the last one starts getting bigger…that’s whey I am having baby bump envy!
Absolutely! In fact, I got it at church the other day when I saw a couple tiny tiny babies! My 1st pregnancy was stressful. My second was a breeze (aside from him being 8lb 14oz and 22″ – try carrying that in a 5’3″ frame!) And, like you, I desperately want that girl
Melissa´s last [type] ..happy valentine’s day!
Yeah I think sometimes, I will have no little girl to dress up, play dolls with or go shopping with. My mom and I are super close so I always wanted that. I guess I’ll need to make one of my boys my partner in crime
My dear, I love my three. But there is a HUGE difference going from 2 to 3. You are pretty dead on with your con list for having 3. Even with 3, I get those moments of wanting that girl, but then I remember those struggles in the first year. I too have been changing diapers for 6 years. I’m hoping that will end by this summer.
Perhaps you and I can find a girl, out of diapers, to share sometime. (For now, there is another dirty diaper calling my name.)
Jenn
I do occasionally. I have two kids and my boyfriend doesn’t have any. He looks at my kids like they are his own but sometimes I want just one more. Sometimes I think about once we get married what will happen? Will we change our minds and want a child together? Right now we both say no. But I worry all the time that we will regret that 10 years from now.
Michelle´s last [type] ..Budoir Photos – A Revelation
Yes! We have been going back and forth on #3 for quite some time, but I really think we’re done. A lot of your cons are my cons too.
As for the names…I insisted that we pick out two names each pregnancy and not name the baby until we saw him and could decide which name he looked like!
I do but for different reasons. I have a 15 year old and we had tried 2 years after he was born and wasn’t successful. We did go through fertility with him and went that way again but it didn’t work. So we were ok with the one we were blessed with. But 12 years later…..never say never! 2007 I found out that I was pregnant! WHOA! What a shocker! We were so happy and scared, I mean Andrew was 12. We were starting all over again! I was high risk because of my age. Plus I had to start insulin injections 6 times a day! But I did it by the book, ate right. Then when I was 23 weeks our lives were turned upside down. I went to the OB to get what I thought was a yeast infection checked out. What actually happned was my mucus plug was out and I was dialated and he was bulging out. So hospital bedrest for me until June (this was feb) I lasted one week and after an emergency c-section luke was born March 3, 2008 weighing 1 pound 8 ozs and 12 inches long. After he spent 157 days in 2 NICU’s (virtua and chop) and having 5 surgerys he is a happy and healthy and very actvie 2 year old! I never got to that baby bump experience again. I had just started feeling him move. And I do get sad when I see pregnant women. I so wanted to feel that again. So now that we know there is a possibility for me to get pregnant again we are careful, I am going to be 40 and the docs told me that I would be extremely high risk of that happening again. I so wish I made it that far…
I am so sorry you had to go through that, but I am so happy to hear your son is healthy and doing great. I am sure that must of been so scary.
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Baby Bump Envy
I did when my son turned 1, but I still waffled between having a second or not. I am almost to week 38 and am ready to get this bun out of the oven, if only to have my body back! I wonder if I will get the urge again once she is here and I start seeing baby bumps at the park, etc. Especially since we have already decided that 2 is a good number for us!
Melisa´s last [type] ..Wordless-Wordful Wednesday – Pilot in Training
I have an unplanned baby bump (first baby) so it was out of my hands. Still, I’d find myself wanting a baby for a little while before, but denying it because I knew we weren’t ready.
oh I love this list. I know I am going to have baby envy today. My sister-in-law is currently in labor and we are going to meet our new neice or nephew tonight so this morning I already warned my husband that I’m going to start bugging him for a new baby. We have a similair situation with two babies already, but we kinda want a boy … so I guess I’m trying to say I totally feel you! This morning I made a timeline for a new baby in my head, lol.
Christy´s last [type] ..Wheres Audrey
Congrats to your family, how exciting! You are funny. I read this post to my husband and he went running in the other direction
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Baby Bump Envy
i want another baby so badly!
What’s crazy is I do! Even after our complicated Twin pregnancy. I think that’s the big reason – I think that pregnancy was a bit hijacked and I didn’t get to really enjoy it because of the stresses of not knowing how it would all turn out. BUT I think I’ll wait until the twins are at least three and then go from there.
Nicole@MTDLBlog´s last [type] ..My Husband’s A Rockstar
I totally have bump envy! And I’ve only been minus bump for seven months (since the 4th of July!)! I’m pretty sure the bump will be back in the next year though! The last two were two years and two weeks apart and I wouldn’t mind having that spacing again!
Cam´s last [type] ..Where Should We Go
Congrats to you
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Baby Bump Envy
I definitely have baby bump envy! I have a few cons to add but my list is pretty similar to yours. The husband is happy with 2 (he doesn’t want outnumbered!) but I don’t think I would complain if he changed his mind.
Evonne´s last [type] ..God has a sense of humor
I get bump envy too. And then I always go back to the sleepless nights, the constant diaper changing and the crying. We only have one son right now and sometimes really want a second, but our little guy is at a stage where he sleeps all night and can entertain himself for more than 15 minutes if I need to get something done. It’s a constant mental battle around here. But for now, at least, I like my sleep too much to start over.
Courtney K.´s last [type] ..Oil
I know sleep is so valuable! I never realized what a luxury item it would become.
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Baby Bump Envy
I don’t get baby envy, but I start to miss a little bit of the days when my kiddos were little. And then I just count the years until I’m likely to be a grandparent, and t hat makes me feel better
Yeah I miss the baby years but BOY are they tough! Not that toddler years are any better with the tantrums and all…ugh!
Tina @ Life Without Pink´s last [type] ..Baby Bump Envy
I find it interesting that you have an equal number of Pros & Cons!
I don’t get baby bump envy anymore since I’m DEFINITELY done after three but I did like being pregnant. And I’ll have done the diaper gig for about 8 years straight once I’m done,E so yeah…
I seriously didn’t realize that they were both equal…that’s creepy
This is so funny that you wrote this b/c I have a similar post in my drafts! Who knows when I will finish it though!
I always wanted 3 kids. My husband and I each come from 3 kids. I love the dynamic. But seriously….I am so tapped out with my 2!!! Maybe when they are both in preschool multiple days a week I could handle another one. Loved this post!
Funny you should mention this… I just wrote this article about our struggle about whether or not to have a third…
http://www.kveller.com/parent/Finding_Balance/jews-have-three-kids.shtml?KVPT
Carla´s last [type] ..The Obligatory Valentine’s Day Post
I switch between envy, and sucking it in. lol. I can’t help it.
Amber´s last [type] ..18 Months and a High Chair
Your list is so similar to mine in both pros and cons. I am truly torn most days over this. But that whole “outnumbering” con is the biggest deal, as far as I’m concerned. If I had started having kids younger, I might have it in me to chase a third.
Plus, there is this: Twins run in both my family and my husband’s. So, with my luck, a third would also be a fourth. Then I would weep.
Kim {The Fordeville Diaries}´s last [type] ..February Festivities
Oh, we’re on the same wavelength! I have seen so many pregnant women lately and I get a little twinge…
until I realize that I, too, love my sleep!
Shell´s last [type] ..Dear Husbands- Top 10 Ways to Show a Mom You Love Her
I don’t ever get baby bump envy… mostly because I have “eats too many Yellow frosted Zingers bump still”
that, and I have 5 kids – we’re so far into Zone Defense mode we’ve forgotten there was another way once
I only get baby bump envy because it means I would have an actual excuse as to why I have a baby bump
Coma Girl´s last [type] ..Going Home Again
I have double what you have (4) and I have no baby bump envy. My oldest is graduating from HS in 2012 and my youngest is in Kindergarten. I have NO desire to have any more children. So much so my husband and I both got fixed!
Elisabeth´s last [type] ..Mixed Messages -Quick Hit
I swear I’ve done this a thousand times in the past few months. I go from “I want another baby” to “HELL NO” at the blink of an eye. I just got my youngest potty-trained…Do I really want to do that all over again? And the sleep depravity!? I’m still on the fence, though…just don’t tell my hubby.
Lindsay´s last [type] ..How to find coupons online
Never – I am happy to hold a newborn baby and hand it back!
Lost In Mommyland´s last [type] ..Newpaper Article – Valentines Day in Saudi Arabia
I got baby bump envy. 11 months ago… And POOF! Baby number 3 is now 2 months old. Its crazy, but somehow, I love it. I didn’t think I’d love it. (When I found out I was pregnant, I thought, OH MY GOD! WHAT WAS I THINKING?!) Aside from a rougher pregnancy than ever, and labor so quick I thought I’d have her in the car, Little Miss Ava is such a special special addition. Its a scary step to take. Terrified me! Totally worth it though, if you’re willing to take the plunge! Don’t think I’ll take it again though!
Liz Sacks´s last [type] ..Back To Work… Oh Boy
Oh geez. Maybe a little but I hated being pregnant so it tappers it. 3 is a nice number but yeah, I hear it changes things big time.
Glamamom´s last [type] ..MEMORIES OF ME
I do have baby bump envy but I definitely want another.
Right now we have 3 and hubby and I came from families with 2 kids. I will say 3 is a hard number because someone is always in the middle and there seems to be a lot of fights for attention. At least in our family any combination of 2 of my 3 kids get along much better than 3. I think even numbers are good!
I knew I always wanted 3 kids but #3 wasn’t born until #2 was almost 4. It was a little bit of an adjustment to go from just older kids to a new baby and starting all over again but so glad we did. Probably won’t have a 4th because I can just not stand being pregnant.
With my baby turning six, I have baby bump envy in a huge way!
It’s crazy — I already have four kids. When my husband had a vasectomy six years ago, we were both celebrating. But now I’ve changed my mind.
I would have loved to have a dozen, but stopped at two knowing how hard it would be to send to college.
Weekend Cowgirl´s last [type] ..Barbie’s Spaghetti Sauce
Not gonna lie…I never get baby bump envy anymore. I look a pregnant chicks and remember that they can’t have wine or martinis, and they most likely have hemorrhoids and heartburn. The end result is great, and all, but I just don’t think I could go down that road again!
The Mommyologist´s last [type] ..I’m Hosting The Mom Hour On Heartbeat Radio For Women!
No.
But I have miserable pregnancies, so there isn’t that “magical time” for me.
Just recently I heard the “zone defense” line for the very first time. Totally cracks me up!
liz´s last [type] ..My Valentine&8217s Heart-Melt
I totally get baby bump envy.
that chick gets to parade around a big ole barrel belly and no one seems to mind. me? it’s just cuz i had 2 pieces of cheesecake.
[we're done w/ 2, and i'm ok with that :p]
MommaKiss´s last [type] ..Somethings fishy
I see pregnant women everywhere. I look at them with envy and then remember JDaniel was awake for the first six months nursing.
JDaniel4′s Mom´s last [type] ..Glow Crazy Distance Doodler Review and Giveaway
I get baby bump envy from time to time and my pro/con lists look exactly like yours. But DH says no more, and I tend to agree with his reasoning so I get jealous, grieve and move on. Plus, my youngest is 2 and he’s getting to be so much fun but the tantrums and crying still drive me up a wall, oh and don’t forget the bickering!
I have not made this list of my own but I believe it would look very similar. And if you had not come to your senses by the end of the post, I would have had to get medieval on you and remind you about sleep! http://www.lifeinmhood.com/2011/02/17/what-experts-say-about-sleep/ Diapers are definitely a close second, potty training third, for me. I am currently in the sleep-deprivation stage though I have hints that baby will sleep longer, sometimes, just this week. It has been 11 months. Sleep is not overrated!
Im right in the middle of my second baby bump and considering a third in the future. Although the idea of three exhausts me. I’m with you, I like sleep.
Allison @ Alli n Son´s last [type] ..That’s What He Said
Hmm…. I’d have to say yes and no! I gain a lot weight when I’m pregnant even though I’m careful what I eat.
Now, I’d take the baby minus the pregnancy part!
Jackie´s last [type] ..Another Proud Moment Spirit Cup Winners
Visiting you from By Word of Mouth. First, props to you for even considering a third child. I just had my first baby, and I’m still in the exhausted, mild-PPD stage so I can’t believe people have more than one baby on purpose.
But I know that will change soon. My baby boy will get bigger, and I’ll wish I had another one to snuggle.
Melissa (@melrut01)´s last [type] ..Grandma games
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