Darkness

by Tina @ Life Without Pink on February 11, 2011

I could never imagine that I would have a job that I so desperately wanted to leave. I was fresh out of college and took a sales position with a very exciting company.

In the beginning, I learned a lot and met so many interesting people. I got invited to exclusive events, went on a trip to Las Vegas and got to met a few celebrities {I even had the privilege of meeting Mr. T}.

A few months in, my territory changed and things started to not feel right. Every day it felt like another brick was thrown on top of me and there were some days I couldn’t get out of bed. I would sob in the shower and with every muscle I forced my body to get dressed, pack my bags and get into the car each day.

I feel into a depression and the support of my husband {then boyfriend}, family and friends didn’t comfort me at all.

I felt alone.

It was bitter cold, windy, and snowy…I hated the winter. My new territory got moved to the City and I felt exhausted walking the streets in heels while carrying a briefcase and trying to block my face from the bone-chilling air.

On one particular day, I remember walking into one of my client’s building. My face was blood red, my nose was running, and my feet ached from walking five miles in the snow.

I walked in and tried to compose myself, but I continued to shake from being so cold. I was numb. This wasn’t how I saw my future. At that moment, I wanted to run away.

I did everything I had to do to get through the day.

Over the next several weeks, I sent out a ton of resumes, went on a few interviews but still had no luck landing a job. I fell more into a depression, the nights before I had to work my stomach was in knots and I cried every single morning.

Those six months were my darkest.

Finally I went on a promising interview.

I prayed that this would be my ticket out of hell.

The next day I couldn’t even get out of bed to go to work and I stayed under the covers trying to hide from the world.

As I laid there feeling sorry for myself….the telephone rang….and then my whole world shifted!

This post was written for The Red Dress Club’s Red Writing Hood challenge. The post must begin with “I could never have imagined” and end with “Then the whole world shifted”. It must be no more than 600 words.

Meet Tina @ Life Without Pink


I'm Tina, a wife and mother of two very active little boys. I'm the Co-founder of Girls' Lunch Out {GLO}, a marketing company that hosts networking events for women in social media. I'm also part of the BabyCenter social media team and the 2013 Family Expert for P&G's Have You Tried This Yet? Trend Trio.

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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

1 blueviolet @ A Nut in a Nutshell February 11, 2011 at 9:40 am

You got me all interested, and then it ended! Dang it!
blueviolet @ A Nut in a Nutshell´s last blog post ..It&8217s a WHAT

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2 Minivan Mama February 11, 2011 at 9:48 am

I’ve been there! You described it so well!
Minivan Mama´s last blog post ..Sitting In a Tree

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3 Amy February 11, 2011 at 9:52 am

I’m so happy that things have changed for you…even though I would like to know what had changed so much for the better :)

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4 Angel February 11, 2011 at 11:05 am

I think we all have had those jobs.. although there is no paycheck worth walking 5 miles in cold and wet.. adn why is your blog showing up all wonky for me..
Angel´s last blog post ..TRDC – Writing prompt

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5 Devan @ Accustomed Chaos February 11, 2011 at 11:06 am

♥ beautiful writing.
Devan @ Accustomed Chaos´s last blog post ..It’s A Celebration!

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6 Jennifer Auer February 11, 2011 at 11:40 am

My first job out of college was with a rental car company. While my experience was not quite as bad as yours I remember having to wash cars in a business suit and bring rental cars out to strangers in Atlantic City. I would often think I went to college for this?? I have a degree in entrepreneurship and I was renting cars. LOL

I’m glad we are both in a much better place.
Jennifer Auer´s last blog post ..“Getting the Mad Out” – Talk About it Thursday

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7 Kir February 11, 2011 at 11:48 am

Oh I really liked that, It was wonderful.
I remember those days of wanting to stay in bed, or not being able to move from the place I was in. It was so real to feel all that with you.

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8 Christy February 11, 2011 at 12:54 pm

very well written! I could feel your despair and hatred through you words, and I sense a happy ending!
Christy´s last blog post ..I feel bad

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9 Shell February 11, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Oh, it’s so hard when you are stuck in a job you don’t like!

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10 Brandi February 11, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Gosh, I know that feeling!
Brandi´s last blog post ..I Love You- Ball

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11 MeghaN February 11, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Bless you! Bug hugs coming your way.

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12 Sara February 11, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I’ve so been there. Awesome post!
Sara´s last blog post ..Come Closer- Dear Lover

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13 Alexandra February 11, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I had a PT job I just quit like that last week.

My stomach would be in knots when the phone would ring and it’d be “them.” or if I saw emails from” “Them” I’d have a physical reaction.

I had to go on 2 stomach meds.

I was unhappy.

I quit last week Tuesday.

I AM SO HAPPY.
Alexandra´s last blog post ..I Live With Men and So I Turn To You

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14 Stacey February 11, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I hope the shifting was a wonderful new job and that the depression lifted as well. It is so hard to go through life feeling that dark cloud with you everywhere you go. Great post!

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15 Anne February 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm

There’s almost nothing worse than a job that is crushing you. I’ve been there! Now I want to know about the new job you got!
Anne´s last blog post ..My old valentine bag

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16 Jessica February 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I feel your pain. I was in a job for several months that I hated. I remember crying at the dinner table one night because I hated my job so much. I hope you enjoy your new job.
Jessica´s last blog post ..Cups Stairs Danger

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17 Carissa February 11, 2011 at 6:06 pm

I have such a wintertime version of depression.. mostly mornings, but still… I hear you..

And hold on what’s with the life without pink… ???
All boy children… I see… I love it! I had two girls and then finally a boy. Wow such a breath of fresh air to switch like that!

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18 Kelley February 11, 2011 at 6:35 pm

It’s amazing how one phone call, one moment time, can totally alter your life and your mood!

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19 Nichole February 11, 2011 at 7:22 pm

It’s amazing how much a job can make you truly miserable.
I had one that truly consumed my life and I ended up feeling similarly.

You did such a good job of making me remember that feeling and I love that the world shifted for you.

Now I want to know more! :)
Nichole´s last blog post ..Without a backward glance

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20 JDaniel4's Mom February 11, 2011 at 7:37 pm

I am so glad the call came. I can’t imagine being this sad about a job and not having a way out.
JDaniel4′s Mom´s last blog post ..God Gave Us the World Review

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21 Mandyland February 11, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Oh I feel your pain! I was at a job for almost ten years, five of them hell. I cried every lunch break. I fantasized about quitting. When I finally did, it was the biggest relief and the most freeing sensation.

I’m sorry you had to go through this awful time.
Mandyland´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday

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22 Cheryl @ Mommypants February 11, 2011 at 11:50 pm

SO glad your world shifted. Nothing worse than being in a miserable job and feeling there’s no way out.

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23 julia February 12, 2011 at 8:00 am

so well written, i want to hear more!! what a shame you were stuck for so long in a job that was so awful. but so glad that things changed for you.
julia´s last blog post ..sexy leopard print

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24 Glamamom February 13, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Oh Love, I’m sorry. That sounds awful! I started my career in investment banking and had many teary days myself so I completely understand how emotional working a shitty job is. I also think when you’re younger, you take professional stuff a lot harder than you would if you were older and more experienced. Anyway, I’m glad to read you got the hell out of there and out of that darkness xo.
Glamamom´s last blog post ..VILLIONAIRE BY RICHIE RICH A-W 2011 COLLECTION

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25 Kelly February 13, 2011 at 11:40 pm

I feel your pain. It is very difficult to get up in the morning and go to a job that does not feed your soul and give you a sense of satisfaction…especially in the winter!
Kelly´s last blog post ..Morning and Sun

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26 NotJustAnotherJennifer February 14, 2011 at 3:29 pm

I completely related to this. My last job? Was a lot like “Office Space.” So much so that a co-worker and I watched it about once a week the last 6 months we were there. We escaped to Hawaii for 3 weeks and when we came back, we sunk into a major depression. We quit two days apart.
NotJustAnotherJennifer´s last blog post ..Identity Shift

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27 Jack February 17, 2011 at 1:42 am

I have lived this story and you described it beautifully. It was really easy to follow along and feel like I was a part of it.

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28 Charlotte February 17, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I have had (and, on occasion, still experience) days like this. It’s such a crummy feeling when the idea of going into the office makes you want to curl into a ball. I’m so glad you received that phone call (and fingers crossed that one day, I’ll get it, too). Though it’s not as bad for me now as it was then, I’m realizing that I owe it to myself to find the career path in life that makes me happiest.

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