Darkness

I could never imagine that I would have a job that I so desperately wanted to leave. I was fresh out of college and took a sales position with a very exciting company.

In the beginning, I learned a lot and met so many interesting people. I got invited to exclusive events, went on a trip to Las Vegas and got to met a few celebrities {I even had the privilege of meeting Mr. T}.

A few months in, my territory changed and things started to not feel right. Every day it felt like another brick was thrown on top of me and there were some days I couldn’t get out of bed. I would sob in the shower and with every muscle I forced my body to get dressed, pack my bags and get into the car each day.

I feel into a depression and the support of my husband {then boyfriend}, family and friends didn’t comfort me at all.

I felt alone.

It was bitter cold, windy, and snowy…I hated the winter. My new territory got moved to the City and I felt exhausted walking the streets in heels while carrying a briefcase and trying to block my face from the bone-chilling air.

On one particular day, I remember walking into one of my client’s building. My face was blood red, my nose was running, and my feet ached from walking five miles in the snow.

I walked in and tried to compose myself, but I continued to shake from being so cold. I was numb. This wasn’t how I saw my future. At that moment, I wanted to run away.

I did everything I had to do to get through the day.

Over the next several weeks, I sent out a ton of resumes, went on a few interviews but still had no luck landing a job. I fell more into a depression, the nights before I had to work my stomach was in knots and I cried every single morning.

Those six months were my darkest.

Finally I went on a promising interview.

I prayed that this would be my ticket out of hell.

The next day I couldn’t even get out of bed to go to work and I stayed under the covers trying to hide from the world.

As I laid there feeling sorry for myself….the telephone rang….and then my whole world shifted!

This post was written for The Red Dress Club’s Red Writing Hood challenge. The post must begin with “I could never have imagined” and end with “Then the whole world shifted”. It must be no more than 600 words.

Meet Tina @ Life Without Pink


2013 Family Expert for P&G's Have You Tried This Yet? Trend Trio, Tina is a mom of two active boys and the founder of Life Without Pink, a personal lifestyle blog focused on parenting, and raising boys to give other parents inspiration. You’ll find everything from cool gadgets, daily adventures, to personal stories and tips for raising boys. She's also the co-founder of Girls' Lunch Out {GLO}, a social media network that hosts events for women in social media and the Influencer Strategist for Socialstars by Crowdtap.

Comments

  1. says

    My first job out of college was with a rental car company. While my experience was not quite as bad as yours I remember having to wash cars in a business suit and bring rental cars out to strangers in Atlantic City. I would often think I went to college for this?? I have a degree in entrepreneurship and I was renting cars. LOL

    I’m glad we are both in a much better place.
    Jennifer Auer´s last blog post ..“Getting the Mad Out” – Talk About it Thursday

  2. says

    Oh I really liked that, It was wonderful.
    I remember those days of wanting to stay in bed, or not being able to move from the place I was in. It was so real to feel all that with you.

  3. says

    I had a PT job I just quit like that last week.

    My stomach would be in knots when the phone would ring and it’d be “them.” or if I saw emails from” “Them” I’d have a physical reaction.

    I had to go on 2 stomach meds.

    I was unhappy.

    I quit last week Tuesday.

    I AM SO HAPPY.
    Alexandra´s last blog post ..I Live With Men and So I Turn To You

  4. says

    I hope the shifting was a wonderful new job and that the depression lifted as well. It is so hard to go through life feeling that dark cloud with you everywhere you go. Great post!

  5. says

    I have such a wintertime version of depression.. mostly mornings, but still… I hear you..

    And hold on what’s with the life without pink… ???
    All boy children… I see… I love it! I had two girls and then finally a boy. Wow such a breath of fresh air to switch like that!

  6. says

    It’s amazing how much a job can make you truly miserable.
    I had one that truly consumed my life and I ended up feeling similarly.

    You did such a good job of making me remember that feeling and I love that the world shifted for you.

    Now I want to know more! :)
    Nichole´s last blog post ..Without a backward glance

  7. says

    Oh I feel your pain! I was at a job for almost ten years, five of them hell. I cried every lunch break. I fantasized about quitting. When I finally did, it was the biggest relief and the most freeing sensation.

    I’m sorry you had to go through this awful time.
    Mandyland´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday

  8. says

    Oh Love, I’m sorry. That sounds awful! I started my career in investment banking and had many teary days myself so I completely understand how emotional working a shitty job is. I also think when you’re younger, you take professional stuff a lot harder than you would if you were older and more experienced. Anyway, I’m glad to read you got the hell out of there and out of that darkness xo.
    Glamamom´s last blog post ..VILLIONAIRE BY RICHIE RICH A-W 2011 COLLECTION

  9. says

    I completely related to this. My last job? Was a lot like “Office Space.” So much so that a co-worker and I watched it about once a week the last 6 months we were there. We escaped to Hawaii for 3 weeks and when we came back, we sunk into a major depression. We quit two days apart.
    NotJustAnotherJennifer´s last blog post ..Identity Shift

  10. says

    I have had (and, on occasion, still experience) days like this. It’s such a crummy feeling when the idea of going into the office makes you want to curl into a ball. I’m so glad you received that phone call (and fingers crossed that one day, I’ll get it, too). Though it’s not as bad for me now as it was then, I’m realizing that I owe it to myself to find the career path in life that makes me happiest.

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