I have been struggling lately with balancing everything in my life from family, responsibilities, looking for a job to blogging.
By now you probably know I am trying to land a job in marketing/social media after being laid off from my job last year. I have taken on a few projects that I feel will be great additions to my resume and ‘hopefully’ help me keep my foot in the door.
But at times, I admit I think I have taken on too much.
Most of these ‘projects’ are volunteer work and I am starting to question if they are really worth my time and will they help me land a job?
With my boys home with me every day and the fact that they can not entertain themselves, it becomes harder and harder for me to manage my time.
So I jump on the computer for a few minutes here and a few minutes there and by the end of each day I often feel like I am spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.
I partially blame social media for being so distracting. I’ll sit down to work on a post or help with BABYssentials’ community, turn on Twitter and Facebook to check my accounts and then find myself getting sucked in for the next few hours.
Today I had lunch with one of my blogging friends, Erica, to discuss a project we are working on together {yes another one that I will be able to reveal very soon}.
We started chatting and I told Erica about how I am struggling with balancing everything in my life and my concerns for taking on all of these projects.
Erica is smart, witty and I really value her opinion.
She told me that I need to organize my time, set-up a schedule for myself and make finding a job a priority.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Of course as a previous Marketing Manager I understand the importance of using schedules and time management, but I never looked at applying them to my own personal life.
Why? I’m not really sure but I certainly will give it a try.
I have decided that I need to structure my days or at least the days when I have no obligations or plans.
My mornings will be dedicated to BABYssentials and commenting on blogs, nap time will be used for catching up on twitter, facebook and email and three nights a week I will assigned myself one task {write a post for my blog or one of the websites I contribute to, network on LinkedIn, work on my own personal blog, etc.}.
I really want to keep most of my days free for my boys. I really hate the feeling that I am always attached to the computer or my blackberry and not focused on them. They are my priority and what is most important to me.
I also do not want to be on the computer every night. My husband works a lot of hours and most nights {if he isn’t working late} it is our time to hang out.
I am still debating on what projects to hold onto and which ones I need to let go of but for now I will try to schedule my days and see if this helps.
I’d love to hear how you deal with balancing family, responsibilities and blogging. Do you create a schedule for yourself? When do you blog and how to do you manage your time? Please share any tips you may have!
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I could go on and on because I teach seminars on time management but here are a few tips:
~Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Weigh each opportunity presented to you against your priorities and other commitments before agreeing to it.
~Use a timer. I use a timer for my time online and have a ratio of time online to time offline (for example, how many loads of laundry or games of Scrabble I need to play with my kids before I get back online)
~Cut yourself some slack. No one can do it all well. Everyday is a choice about what is a priority that day and something will fall through the cracks (and that is ok).
That Erica’s a smart cookie! I had this blogger-overload about six months ago… it just sucked me in like you wouldn’t believe! Plus, I’ve started doing some work online, and having to legitimately use the computer gave me what I THOUGHT was a legitimate excuse to check all my social networking accounts. I have two words for you: EGG TIMER. Set it to 5, 10, 15 minutes, and that’s your limit! It kind of feels odd to be controlled by that little gadget at first, but it’ll save you a lot of time (and mommy guilt!) in the end!
.-= Elizabeth @ Confessions From A Working Mom´s last blog ..Get Paid Just For Reading Your Email! =-.
This is a constant struggle for me. I am a WAHM and I wouldn’t be home if I wasn’t able to work and so my job will ALWAYS come before my blog – but my FAMILY always comes first. I think I am successful at time management and I think that’s what keeps me from going insane – and somehow, I make it all work.
The key element for me is ONLY committing to projects that are totally worth my time – I can’t invest part of myself if it means down the road that one project will stretch me too thin- because then I end up getting stressed and resenting everything.
Focus on the key things that will help you get where you need to go and try to make the best use of your time – when the kids are napping, etc… I’ve worked out of the home as well and I don’t think anyone has it any easier – this motherhood gig is HARD.
My advice would be to learn to say “no” and/or delegate some tasks out – You’ll find your groove and once you do – go with it!
Great post!
I am totally with you Tina. I am having a hard time with time management as well. I am hoping that I can get in to a groove as Heather said so I can knock the rest of my school work out, study for the exam, and hopefully land a job at some point. But right now I am trying to concentrate on my kids and getting their IEP’s (individualized education plans) on the right track for this school year. I am very grateful for the new friend I made that is going to help me with this.
Anyways, don’t beat yourself up too much. You are an awesome person and I think you will find the right balance.
{huge cyber hugs}
.-= Niki @ Ambitious Gurl´s last blog ..I forgot it was Monday!! =-.
I struggle with this ALL THE TIME! I have to have a sort of a schedule, or i would go nuts too! Good luck on the job hunt as well!
.-= sara@domesticallychallenged´s last blog ..It Comes Naturally =-.
I don’t do it well. I’m not even going to lie. My husband looks at me like, “Hello? Remember me?”. I am working at my father’s company 4 days a week, learning how to “take over” so that he can retire, I have my online store, 2 preschoolers, one store blog, one blog about to launch and friends that I haven’t seen in ages. My new friends are people on twitter with whom I have never met face-to-face. Oh, I forgot a 5K and an event at Please Touch in Sept and the Golden Globes Boom Boom Room in Jan…
Truth be told, I like being busy. I like having purpose and feeling needed. Its a mixed blessing. I just commit everything that I need to do on paper and tick it off one by one. It all gets done. I feel like we are genetically predisposed to multitask.
this is something I struggle with and I don’t even have as much on my plate as you do. I’m hoping that with the school year starting, I can really come up with a better schedule for myself, since our days will be more structured anyway.
This is something I struggle with too. I hope you manage to find the balance. It’s a hard thing to do. xx
.-= Marylin´s last blog ..Temporary Post Used For Theme Detection b164c92c-7c48-4925-a1b7-5d9c79f7e7fe – 3bfe001a-32de-4114-a6b4-4005b770f6d7 =-.
Yes, yes, and yes. I have been spoiled this summer, being a teacher–and having each day to do some writing. I know that come the fall (or a few weeks from now)- between work and giving my daughter the attention she needs, I am going to be torn in 6 zillion directions.
I so know that feeling… When i was working full-time, I made a mostly-enforced rule that I wouldn’t be on the computer at home when the kids are awake. I check facebook, my blog, and my mommy message boards while DH is bathing the kids, then turn off the computer for the night.
But now I’m working part-time, so my schedule has flown out the window. I have more free-time now (technically), but I’m getting far less done.
One of these days I’ll get the right balance…
.-= IASoupMama´s last blog ..Jeckyll and Hideous =-.
I’ve started not even turning the computer on when I get home. If my blog, facebook, etc get neglected then so be it. Its the only way I am able to keep my sanity between work, hubby, pregnancy, pets, housework, etc. My blog is supposed to be something that makes me happy so if I’m exhausted then there’s no reason to force myself to write on it.
.-= Diana @ A Littlle Bit of Life´s last blog ..PINT – Breaks- Sprains- and Pains =-.
Now that school has started back, I have about 2.5 hours 3 days a day to devote to blogging without feeling gulity, well I could be doing housework but reallly. During the summer, it was a major struggle to find time for everything, one reason I don’t Twitter.
.-= Semi-Slacker Mom´s last blog ..Its mainly about food =-.
Well it certainly sounds like you’ve got everything sorted out! Now keeping to your carefully structured schedule will be the challenge. Good luck!
.-= Sandra´s last blog ..What the =-.
Hey Chickie! Sounds like some great advice from Erica. I’m loving what Melissa Multitasking Mama had to say. What great advice. While I don’t have quite the issue as you do with family time, but between work, household chores, and blog… I totally get lost and overwhelmed. Thanks for posting about it Tina!
I have a lot of trouble with this. And honestly I haven’t figured it out yet. I really think it’d be easier to add more time to each day!
My biggest problem is that I work full time! When I get home I have running to do with the older kids, try to spend some kind of quality time with them and the husband, take care of the house & dinner. Some where in there I try to get in some computer time and work on my blog/Twitter/Facebook, etc.
Usually the something suffers… and I let it be the housework. I’d rather spend my time w/the kids doing something fun because one day I won’t be cool anymore and they won’t want to hang out with me. When that time comes I’ll clean the house!
I really should use some of the product management stuff I do for work and apply it to my life!!! I’d probably get more done!
I have a hard time balancing everything too. Sometimes I think it’s a mom’s job to be a successful juggler. If we can do that we are a success. Right? Maybe? (:
The one place I often fail as a blogger is to comment back. I appreciate all of the bloggers that read my posts. I need to do a better job at letting them know I read theirs, too! I’m working on it!
.-= Magically Ordinary´s last blog ..Post it Note Tuesday- A Very Giddy Mom Edition =-.
I’m really struggling with this myself. This is the time of year that usually soccer takes a lot of my time. This week school started and that leaves Brody only home during the day. At nights I sit on the computer while hubby does whatever and I really don’t like that. I want to be spending time with him. I think I’m going to have to try to set up a schedule to get it all in.
Boy do I know how you feel! I feel like I’m on total overload lately…especially since starting my new job 3 weeks ago. It is amazing how much more it has added to my plate, but hopefully it will be worth it! I have a big promotion I’m a part of starting next week too, so somehow I have to figure out how to balance it all! I swear that I live on my computer/Iphone!!
Great post! I also was experiencing balancing issues earlier this month. Like you, I had to create a schedule for myself. Now, I commit to not checking twitter, facebook, or other blogs for more than five minutes during my day. My mornings before work are devoted to prepping articles for an online newspaper that I write. At work, I publish a blog post and then will not check for comments until lunchtime and again in the evening. When I get off work, I then read other blogs for thirty minutes and respond to any comments on my blog and that’s it. I am done for the day. (Whew!) It’s still exhausting, but I feel like with this schedule, I have my life under my control again!
-Jessica
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday- And- she sits up =-.
I don’t know what the heck I’m doing. I am trying to get my 5 month old on a schedule and then I plan on working a schedule around him and my 2.5 year old. So far….no luck. I don’t know how to balance anything and all I do is take care of my kids, my house, my husband, and my outlet…my blog. I get lost in the world of the Internet, but I need it! So…I’m just trying to figure it all out, too. Good luck!
.-= Mothers’ Hideaway´s last blog ..How Did I Get Here =-.
Sounds like you have a great schedule! Now for the hardest part…sticking to it!
.-= Steph´s last blog ..Pour Your Heart Out =-.
Finding a successful balance is SO hard. Mommy ghost-writes my blog posts at night, but keeping up with Twitter and FB and the blogs in my Google Reader takes a full day’s worth of stolen moments; Mommy’s iPhone is worth its weight in gold!
.-= Cole´s last blog ..81 – 1000 Awesome Things =-.
OH MY GOD! Are we living parallel lives or what??
We need to have lunch or meet up soon. I am going through this same struggle every day.
My son is just entering Kindergarten so Im hoping that will help me balance and put a stricter time management on my bloggy/work stuff…. we’ll see.
You took the key taps right out of my fingers…….
I’m afraid my boys are going to start thinking their mother has a square head, as they usually view me from behind the screen of my laptop.
I too, need to do some time organizing. …trying to build a readership on my blog is soooo time consuming.
Oh, by the way I am posting your button on my blog favorites! Thought I’d let you know!
Thank you for this! I am filled with major guilt this week of the timesuck that the computer is.
I tried to do it at night, but then I lost out on sleep.
I work, too, so I will watch what your commenters say.
Something has got to give, that’s the sad truth. And it can’t be my family….
I have the same issue and I only blog for myself and yet I feel like there isn’t enough time! I like the suggestions for creating a schedule and using a timer!
I recently said I needed to stop using the laptop in bed. I use it at the desk or not at all. I found I would be so engrossed and my husband would be engrossed in his and we were just not talking like we use to. No more!
.-= Melisa´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Son of a Pilot =-.
It’s great that you are taking time to evaluate your priorities in regards to time management. I agree with your friend, that setting a schedule (even if it’s just a blueprint) will be most helpful.
Even though schedules tend to make people feel fenced in, reality is, they free you up because once you SEE and KNOW that everything that NEEDS to be done has a specific time to get accomplished you are not as worried about getting it done and scrambling to figure it out amongst the daily what-not’s that always come up as a mother of young children.
I think that your plan looks great, esp. not being on the computer every night. Have you talked it over at all with your spouse? He might have some opinions (regarding family time vs. blogging time) that will be valuable as well.
Let us know what you settle on and how it all shakes out.
I hear that Rachel @ Small Notebook is working on an ebook about this very topic…check in with her as well!
http://smallnotebook.org/2010/07/30/messy-with-purpose/
~h
It’s tough!! While it’s great you’re so busy being a WAHM (which you totally are!) is not easy. Have you considered a sitter a few hours a week?
I know, I know! But I have a 15 year old neighbor for $8/hour and it’s heaven. Usually they’re in the backyard or at the girl’s house – 2 houses down with her mother home! And I get some stuff done. I have a new site I’m starting and it’s just too much work with a 4yo around!
.-= Coma Girl´s last blog ..Writers Workshop – This One Time I Was Sleeping And =-.
I can really relate to this one! I have been working at finding a balance and a schedule that works for me. I’m very busy with my full time job (I run a small home preschool) so my computer time needs to be early mornings and nap time.
There are so many priorities in the life of a mom, it can be such a challenge to find the balance! I wrote out a schedule that I thought would work for me but so far I haven’t been diligent about following it.
I like the idea about using a timer. I think that would help me out a lot!
.-= {Grow With} Stacy´s last blog ..Kick That Complaining Habit to the Curb =-.
Oh, I don’t balance any of this very well. I’m in tears from exhaustion most of the time. I like the idea of a schedule but life just always seems to get in the way of that for me. I wish I had some insight, if you find the magic secret and what works for you, please share!
Oh girl- I could have written this post! I’m glad to see though that others recommend a timer. I use my iPhone timer and feel like a big dork for having to control myself like that! But i do find that it helps me focus.
I am cutting back on-my volunteer commitments. I just have to say no. I’m about to give up a volunteer chairman position. I once learned in a proj mgt class that 10 minutes in planning saves hours of chaos. I’m working on some planning tonight so hopefully it’s true!
Hang in there!
.-= Melissa {adventuroo}´s last blog ..Joy in the Ordinary- the Every Day and Folding Clothes with Milk Stains =-.
As you can see from all the comments, you are not alone. I would say 99.9 percent of us struggle from this. It is so difficult. I am constantly searching for ways to manage it all. Sometimes we do really know how to do it, the problem is actually doing it. Setting priorities, setting time limits. It is hard. Especially with all that is out there. I sit down to do one thing, then find another, and another. There is so much out there. Another thing is feeling the need to do it all. Just because someone else does somethings, doesn’t mean we all have to. Everyone has their own plates, some fuller than others. Some willing to give up things that we are not. We have to do what we can, not others. Now just to do it…okay time to go!
This is a tough one we all face. We had the same issue before blogging came along, how to get ‘everything’ done, and then we have added facebook, twitter and blogging to the mix!
I think it depends on what your goals and priorities are as to how much time you can spend online. I am not working and My kids are mostly grown and it still seems I can’t get ‘everything’ done, lol!
I think one I am going to change is having my laptop open and on and windows open all the time. I need to set aside chunks of time to be online and the other chunks devoted to the house or myself or other activities.
Good luck with juggling it all!
Bernice
.-= Ramblings of a Woman´s last blog ..The Cure for the American Dream =-.
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