I am really at my wits end and need some help. My older son {we will call him Big A} is such a picky eater. I know they say they’ll eat when they are hungry but come on he is almost 4 yrs old! I am trying to teach him that it is ok not to like everything I cook but he has to at least try it instead of saying “I don’t like that!” before he even knows what I made for him.
I use to be able to count on him to always eat his breakfast but now he takes 3 bites and says he isn’t hungry. This is the same thing that happens for lunch and dinner.
But dinner is a whole other story. He will start crying at 4:30pm that he is hungry and wants a snack. This is usually when I am trying to make dinner so I tell him he has to wait until we are ready to eat. Then when I get everything on the table and finally wrestle him to sit down, he will sit there for a hour before he even attempts to touch his food!
We now make him sit at the table until he eats his meal or at least what we think is a good portion of it. This could last up to 2 hours! Seriously?!? Might sound harsh but we use to give in and let him get up without eating. Then a hour later he would say he was starving and want cereal or some type of snack. Our alternative was that he would get the dinner he didn’t eat which would always lead to a crying spell and a total meltdown!
Recently I have started to tell him once the family is done eating and the dishes are completed, mommy and daddy are leaving and he can sit there in the kitchen by himself until he is done eating. He will usually scream “No” and then started trying to finish his food in fear that we will leave. I hate to do that but I just don’t know how else to make him eat?
Mealtime is always a fight at my house. I try to plan healthy meals but I am feeling very defeated – why cook when they just throw the food across the room or refuse to eat it?
I need advice. How do you make your children eat or at least try the food? Please share any advice or tips!
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: kerzi8
March 10, 2010 at 9:20 am
Sounds very familiar! We have a must try rule in our house. We’ve always done it so my 4 year old expects us to hover the fork in front of his face until he tries something…he does try everything…he recently discovered his love for Meatloaf and Mashed potatoes..yea!
The other thing we do if he says he’s done eating after 3 bites is say that for snack, the rest of his dinner will be “snack”. He sometimes will eat the rest while at the table sometimes not. Sometimes he will wait till “snack time” then eat the rest of his dinner then get a snack. Either way…he has to eat his dinner before a snack.
For us, it’s consistency. We do what we say we’re going to.
Our doc always says to keep offering food..if they’re hungry they’ll eat. If he doesn’t eat his dinner, then at snack time, his dinner will be his snack.
Good luck!
.-= Kerri´s last blog ..Do I Kerri take you Darren? =-.
Twitter: OrigCouponCoach
March 10, 2010 at 11:35 am
Our 3 1/2 year old is picky as well (and never used to be). She almost always refuses to eat breakfast and many nights refuses dinner as well. We stick to our schedule of snacks and meals even if she says she’s hungry later. If she doesn’t eat her dinner, she will definitely see it again at snack time. And there’s definitely no dessert if she doesn’t eat her dinner either.
We just recently also started a reward chart and one of the things she gets rewarded on is eating breakfast. Since starting it, she has eaten her breakfast every day. She gets really proud of herself for getting her sticker on the chart!
Good luck! I really think it’s just a phase. Our 6 year old went through a period of that and now he eats just fine.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..SnackTAXI Giveaway Winner! =-.
Wow. Sounds like my house morning, noon and night. I have four year old twin boys and one of them sounds exactly like your little one. All he ever wants is a “snack” and that usually consists of anything carb related.
I have started the whole, you have to sit at the table until you eat some of your dinner, routine. That seems to be working, especially when he is left there all by himself.
AND it really gets him when his brother gets to have desert, but he can’t until he eats his dinner. (that kid and his pudding).
Good luck!
OMG! My mom made it very clear that she was not a short order cook and actually with-held snacks if we didn’t eat…. talk about tough love!
Hi! Picky Eaters are the worst! I have one great eater and one picky eater…I have had fun trying to get him to eat different things….this gal took some of my blogs on feeding my kids creatively and summed them up on her blog.
So this isn’t my blog but she is talking about my blog and these are my ideas:
http://amy-newnostalgia.blogspot.com/2010/02/fun-for-kids-food.html
Twitter: lifewithoutpink
March 10, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Thanks ladies so much for the wonderful tips! And it looks like I am not alone with the whole picky eater thing.
Sarah – great resource thanks so much for sharing this with everyone!
You are not alone…mine just turned 4 and his diet consists mainly of peanut butter and jelly, McD’s chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, and rolls. I have sort of just given up and figure that he’ll eat when he’s hungry! I did buy those Apple & Eve Fruitables juice boxes. They have a full serving of vegetables and he sucks them right down! He seems healthy, so I guess it’s not that big a deal yet!
.-= The Mommyologist´s last blog ..What the Heck? Wednesday: Cash Only =-.
You are right it is difficult to know what to do sometimes when they are picky!
I have a surprise for you so come on by and pick it up!
Have a wonderful day,
Dina-Marie
Twitter: AccustomedChaos
March 12, 2010 at 5:36 pm
I had a VERY similar story with my then 3 year old. The trick that worked over here was to set up a strict food schedule. I found that if he got too hungry then he would refuse to eat (similar to being so tired you cant sleep – anyone else get that?). I started giving him snacks at regular intervals – and one about an hour before dinner time (a small one like apple slices). I found that after about 1-2 weeks he was no longer ‘over hungry’ and took to going to the dinner table much easier.
Perhaps engage him (as much as a 4 yr old can) in meal planning and cooking to get him interested in what he is going to eat. Even just 1-2 times a week and he will be so proud about what he has helped create he will want to eat it too.
Sending some **Sanity Vibes** your way – I can emphasize with the stress of picky kids!
.-= Accustomed Chaos´s last blog ..Review: Bumps to Babies Childbirth Preparation Classes =-.
Gosh, this sure is a topic close to my heart! We’ve been going through this with our son for the past year (he is almost 5 now). When he turned 4 my great eater suddenly got wind of the idea that he did not have to eat everything we gave him. He could fuss and saw “ew” and “I don’t like that!”
My best advice is however you choose to fix the problem, stick with it. Consistency is key here.
Personally we have some rules about eating in our house.
-Our house is not a restaurant. No one gets a different meal from everyone else (unless there is an allergy issue)
-You must eat 3 bites of everything on your plate. Doing things you don’t like to do is part of life. 4 isn’t too young to start learning that. Especially with food. Keep offering new foods to kids over and over again. Eventually they may acquire a taste for those foods. It takes time for lots of kids.
-Don’t want to eat your meal? No snacks. You will wait until the next meal time to eat.
*In really bad times where there is an out and out refusal, I have resorted to allowing my kiddo to leave the table without eating. And then that same plate is offered again at the next meal time, not another new meal. Don’t want to even try that meatloaf and potatoes? Fine. But know that you will be presented with it again tomorrow until you eat some of it and give it a chance.
That being said I do try some positive things. I put out fresh fruit with every meal. I have found quite a few that my son likes and this way there is always something he can add to his plate that he is a fan of.
Serve a variety of foods. Kids, just like adults, get tired of seeing the same old, same old. A spaghetti hater is not gonna move on his position if you force him to eat it every single Wednesday night.
If there are some foods your kids absolutely can’t stand, make them on occasion only. If your kid really really really doesn’t like beans at all (or sauerkraut, or brussel sprouts, etc) limit the frequency in which you serve them. Everyone has a deal breaker or two, even grownups. Try to respect that.
Offer dessert every night. At our house we have dessert regularly. It is nothing fancy, not baked goods all the time. We regularly have sugar free jello, fruit popsicles, and sorbet in our house. A small treat at the end of the meal can be a light at the end of a tunnel for kids.