A Bad Day; Can I have a Do-Over?

I had one of those days today where I wish I could crawl back into bed and completely do over. It started out promising. I got up at 6:30am, showered and was able to take 3 full sips of my coffee before the kids woke up. I guess it could be worse like most days when I try to wake up early and somehow my almost 4 yr old {aka Big A; you know since he’s the big brother}, seems to have radar on me.

I mean seriously he could be snoring so loud, completely in a deep sleep and if he slightly hears my feet touch the ground he springs up like a cartoon character and immediately jumps out of bed barking orders right away;

“I’m hungry!”…“I need a drink.”…”Where is my toy?”…”Where is Daddy?”…”I want to watch TV.”…

Seriously who does that child?! My eyes aren’t even open and I have to think and do right away!  So like I said it could of been worse. I will take being able to actually get a shower {especially have 3 days} and have a few sips of coffee over that any day.

We had a nice day planned. We were going to meet friends around 12:30pm at an indoor play place for the kids. Boy I love those places.  Especially when they are small enough and enclosed so you can still see the kids while you sit down and actually have an adult conversation.  The kids have a ball and tire themselves out which is always a plus and I get to catch up and chat with my girlfriends which we don’t get to do that often. Win, Win.

But our day didn’t go as planned.

My 16 month old {aka Little B} went down for a nap around 10am.  Normally I would hold him out for a later nap but I tried that yesterday and didn’t go so well. He was completely miserable all day long and I wasn’t going to take that chance again. Nope I learned my lesson. He usually takes about a 1 hr 1/2 nap, but today he decided to take a 3 hour nap.

So you are probably wondering, why such a bad day because that seems like pure heaven?  Well it was until he woke up.

I decided to cancel our plans at the last minute because we were already running late and I still had to feed the kids lunch.  When I say feed the kids I mean I have to make them lunch and then watch them sit there goofing off, throwing food and refusing to eat it.

Big A is seriously going through a very picky stage {don’t worry a post is coming about this soon} and it makes me so frustrated.  So after he sat at the table for over a hour I finally was able to get him to eat half of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich {which use to be his favorite food but some how he doesn’t like it anymore, go figure}.

It was just one thing after another today.  The boys did nothing but fight all day long! One thing to know about them is they aren’t very good at occupying themselves.  Well Little B would be but whenever he is off doing his own thing Big A insists on invading his space and taking whatever toy he is playing with.  Then I get to hear Little B’s awful, streaking scream that puts chills down my spine. He is a feisty one and won’t give up. At 16 months, he will fight back.  I guess that is because he is the 2nd child and is already use to being picked on.

And Big A just won’t listen at all to me today. I felt like I was talking to the wall. He completely ignores me and actually laughs at me when I am trying to be stern. So I yelled today. Ok maybe yell wasn’t the correct word. I screamed today. Don’t judge, I know you have been there.  I feel awful but I was at my breaking point.

Every time I turned around Little B was screaming because my toddler took his toy, pushed him down, poked him in the eye, etc. I tried keeping them busy with activities like coloring, play-doh, anything I could find but as soon as I would walk away Big A would say, “I’m done!” It really bothers me that he can’t play by myself for more than a minute. I feel like I did something wrong as a parent. Why can’t he occupy himself? It is so damn draining to have to entertain him all day long.

By dinner time, I was completely exhausted and totally burnt out so I decided to cook up a frozen pizza.  I had no desire to cook and I figured kids love pizza so they will be happy with that.

Big A even came in and said, “Oh pizza my favorite!”.  Relief maybe he would actually eat it. But of course, NOPE.  He sat there and took two bites and said, “I don’t like pizza.” WHAT?!? Are you serious! And he wouldn’t touch it. And you know what I didn’t care. I told him if he didn’t eat it then he could go to bed hungry.

And of course his remark to me was, “Ok.” Not what I anticipated.  What I wanted him to say was, “Really mom? Ok I will eat so that I won’t wake up starving and then start yelling at you to feed me before your eyes are even open.” That is what I wanted him to say. But no luck.

I gave them a bath and they both fell asleep at 7:15pm, ahhh! But then I sat down on the couch and completely felt like a failure. Why did I let my emotions get the best of me? And why did I yell like a maniac at those poor kids? I don’t have too many days like that but when I do I can’t help but feel like the worse mom ever.  They are kids and I shouldn’t let the stress of every day life come out like that.  It’s not fair to them.

I went to sleep early tonight {because now I am feeling like I am getting sick, great} and I couldn’t sleep.  I feel too awful.  I thought maybe if I wrote this post that somehow I would feel better, but I don’t.

I told Big A tonight while he was in the bath, that I loved him and I was sorry for yelling at him today. And you know what he said, “That’s ok mommy. You’re my best friend.” That brought tears to my eyes.  I realized no matter what I do or say, I am his mom and he still loves me.  And he knows that I love him too.

Today wasn’t a good day. A day I wish I could completely do-over. But you know what? There is always tomorrow – a new day.

Meet Tina Seitzinger

Tina Seitzinger is a mom of two active boys and the creator of Life Without Pink, a mom’s guide to raising boys. This site has been inspiring mom of boys since 2010. Tina’s family loves traveling and exploring new places. Their motto is “Life’s an adventure” and they are always up for the challenge. Tina shares tips for parenting and raising adventurous boys.

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